Friday, August 19, 2011

"Duh! What day is it?"

Driving all around our country in my coach I pass many, many billboards. It is only natural for me to read them and take notice, even if it is something that does not interest me. I view advertising billboards as an art form and look forward to new advertising campaigns. The billboard campaign for the new series of Big Brother is rather striking. It really gets the point across with the most important thing in big bold type, that it starts on Wednesday 17th August

I am not a fan of Big Brother but Gail is and she is looking forward to the new series. I told her that it is advertised on many billboards and will come back on Wednesday 17th August. No, Gail said, it starts on Thursday 18th August because it says so in her television magazine. Going shopping with her on Wednesday I pointed out the billboard on the Cowbridge Road. She was anxious to consult her magazine again and the on screen television guide. Well, I teased her, look at how big the billboard is compared to your magazine and our television set! Surely Channel 5 would not spend all that amount of money advertising the wrong date!

Big Brother did in fact start on Thursday 18th August and ALL the billboards were wrong. Seems that Big Brother does not know it's arse from it's elbow, never mind a calendar.

The other Big Brother is no better though. Our coaches are fitted with the Alcolock system where the coach will not start unless the driver provides a zero breath sample. I blow into the device this morning at the farm, start the coach and drive to Cardiff. I pull onto the stand and Gavin drags me into the office for a Random Breath Test. I said don't be stupid, how could I have got the coach started and driven here? He replied that Head Office still demand Random Breath Tests even where Alcolocks are fitted. What does the other Big Brother think drivers may be doing? Passing the Alcolock breath test and then opening a bottle of beer to drink on the way to the Central Station.

So, which is dafter, the Channel 5 Big Brother or the nationwide company?
It would've been great to see Fred West in Celebrity Big Brother."Day 42 in the Big Brother House, and all but one of the contestants are in the garden."
Or Micheal Ryan, just shooting to the shops.

Do you not know how to get around the breath test? Suck - don't blow. Absolutely true.
Anonymous: I will give that a try out of curiosity after my weekly rest period. Then I will know if it is true or an old wives tale.

There was a rumour that you could fail a breath test from eating bananas. I ate 3 bananas and kept the skins, just in case. The breath test showed "Pass". If it had failed then I would have marched into the office in London Victoria Coach Station with the skins and declared that it was their problem and not mine!
Banana skins contain an hallucinogen or so its claimed.

But you need to eat about 100 to get any effect if you can without being sick.

Anonymous: I have tried sucking the Alcolock but could not get it to click and accept the sample. It takes a lot of sucking and I tried this test on two consecutive days. I have no breathing problems and can suck like the best of them!

Maybe sucking may work with cheap breath machines but the Alcolock fitted to our coaches will not be fooled by giving it a good old suck.

So, sorry but after trials I declare that sucking on an Alcolock to get the coach to start is an Urban Myth.
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