Friday, October 28, 2011

Copy and paste but this is good.

Okay, this is not an original post today from Stephen. It is a simple copy and paste job. Deborah Ross writes a lovely entertaining little column in The Independent newspaper. Yesterday she wrote a very witty classic about a 24-hour hotline for middle-class emergencies. I will not paste the whole of her article which you can view by clicking this link but here are the really funny bits that made me laugh. Enjoy...

Help, I didn't want a Labradoodle, or Cockerpoo, so will be shortly taking receipt of a Shih Tzu crossed with a Poodle but now I have to tell everybody I own a Shit-Poo?

Help, I thought I'd vetted all my son's friends but one has slipped though whose mother appears to have tattoos. How can I eject him from my son's friendship circle without causing offence and getting beaten up? 

Help, I can't afford a 4x4 but if I blacken the windows of my old Nissan Micra and double-park wherever I so fancy, will this cut it?

Help, I've witnessed my neighbours taking someone into their house under a cloak at 5pm every Thursday, and out again at 6pm. Might this be a tutor they don't want me to know about?

Help, how do you put people off visiting when you have nothing exotic in the fruit bowl?

Help, why does my teenage son insist on wearing jeans half-way down his arse when he knows I am always willing to buy him properly fitted chinos from Gap?

Help, why does my teenage daughter dress like a cheap slut when she knows I would happily take her to M&S or Monsoon any day of the week?

...Thank you Deborah, for making your working class reader chuckle.
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