Saturday, January 28, 2012

That feeling again.

I had that feeling again, yesterday. The feeling hit me out of the blue and seemed to come from nowhere. I went to the Baron's Court, Toby Carvery for a meal before I went to visit Gail in Llandough Hospital. I had finished my meal and the ice cream when suddenly it hit me. The feeling was the same as last time and just as acute.

Back in 1991, I was living on my own in a small starter home in Pill, a small village 7 miles to the west of Bristol city centre. I was standing at a bus stop in Pill waiting for a bus to meet my mate John, (who comments on this blog) for a drink in a pub in Bristol. All of a sudden I had an acute feeling of wanting to be next to Gail and I felt at a loss away from her. Gail was living 50 miles away in Cardiff but it could have been the other side of the world. I just felt so lost away from her that I knew she had become a part of my life and we had fallen in love with each other. Then I knew that I wanted to marry Gail and spend the rest of my life with her. I moved to Cardiff and we got married in September 1991.

Yesterday that same acute feeling hit me again. It came as quite a shock as we have been happily married for over 20 years now. There was a feeling of an acute sense of being lost without her and I felt that a part of me was missing. Gail was in a hospital just 2 miles up the road from where I was sitting but she could have been the other side of the world because I felt so far away from that closeness that we have shared for over 20 years.

That feeling was as strong yesterday as it was on that bus stop in Pill. I understand what Gail and the relationship we share means to me. Marrying her was not a flight of fancy but a commitment for life, a commitment to the woman I love. To get the same acute feeling after 20 years shows that I have married the right woman for me, who has become my soul mate.
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