Saturday, April 07, 2012

Twenty Twelve

Siobhan Sharpe is Head of Brand at the Olympic Deliverance Commission on the BBC television comedy Twenty Twelve .

The second series of Twenty Twelve has been running now for 2 episodes. I really enjoy this television programme as it really makes me laugh. This second series is just as good as the first, although it is rather short at only 4 episodes. There is little that I can add to my review on series one and again Siobhan Sharpe as Head of Brand has some great lines. Twenty Twelve is more of the same but in business, employees throughout the country get more of the same every month from management. Everywhere "the brand" is being refocused and polished. "The brand" is dreadfully important to management as a tool to brainwash both it's employees and the public. Siobhan acts this role really well and Ian Fletcher, the Head of Deliverance always gives those lovely sound-bites that make the Olympic Deliverance Commission appear on-target for a very successful London 2012 Olympics.

No matter how much spin is put out by management, things on the ground are not so good. Twenty Twelve is a comedy but it does highlight the bullshit that is put out for everyone to believe. The real 2012 deliverance team for the London 2012 Olympics could have real problems because of the 7.5 tonne weight restriction on the M4 motorway between junctions 3 and 2 eastbound and junctions 1 and 3 westbound.  The Highways Agency have now erected the correct signs, a white circle with a red border and the message "7.5T m.g.w" - so all buses and coaches have to leave the motorway and follow a lengthy and time consuming diversion in both directions. Above these weight restriction signs is the reason sign declaring "Weak Bridge".

These signs send out 2 messages. In Britain we have a class system, the higher class can use the motorway but the lower class must divert to an inferior route. Our motorway system is so badly built and maintained that the flyovers are falling down and can't even cope with twin axle buses and coaches.

Driving along the A4 in my coach, I quite often look up at the flyover and it's supports. This structure does look rather rough and I wonder what impression this gives visitors, especially those from overseas.  Our security forces are assessing a risk of terrorism at the London 2012 Olympics and before the M4 weight restriction I thought this was referring to the stadiums in East London. I may be very wrong and the real terrorism risk is actually not suicide bombers in a packed stadium but a couple of lads with a pneumatic drill having a chip at a bridge support along the A4.

Will Siobhan be able to rescue the public's confidence in getting to the events on time? Of course she can because Siobhan is Head of Brand and she has a Customer Charter, This wonderful booklet claims to be "Putting customers at the heart of our business". There are 12 parts to this Customer Charter and the magic is the wording within section 2. "Our aim is for all services to arrive on time - and never more than 30 minutes after they are due."

Well Siobhan, with this diversion away from the M4 motorway, all services are arriving more than 30 minutes after they are due. You may have published a smart glossy Customer Charter but it will not make the coaches run on time. Still the Customer Charter made me laugh but I do not think the passengers will find it funny.
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